Important Notice on The collected works of Mr Gove – beware of rogue publications

Sources in the US are reporting that a rogue edition of our acclaimed series “The collected works of Mr Gove”, has been published. The rogue edition poses a serious threat to the stature of Mr Gove

The rogue publication presents a real threat to members of the British public, hard-working families, and teachers in particular.  Already many have been duped into believing the rogue video represents the views of Mr Gove.

The Enemies of Promise, a  something for nothing bunch of cheaters, have managed to persuade an actor to take on the role of  Nazi Leader, Adolf Hitler and then use this to present Mr Gove as an enemy of the teaching profession.

Posing as a Hollywood film crew, they deceived the innocent actor into adopting a Mr Gove accent even though his lines were delivered in German. The film crew then slipped away with their film and cameras, leaving the actor distraught.

We have seen copies of the video and can reveal, that these something for nothing pranksters, not content with one despicable deception, then added subtitles designed to deceive Britain’s hardworking families and teachers into believing that Mr Gove’s policies, although full of rigor, are not supported by all of us.

The video shows shocking scenes, of teachers sobbing, when they learn that Mr Gove may not be around for much longer, and that his time as school minister may soon come to an end.

Intelligence sources confirmed that the video is likely to be the work of the mysterious group known as “The Enemies of Promise”.

The Enemies of Promise are a shadowy group, said by Mr Gove,  to inhabit schools, corridors, staff rooms and classrooms around the UK. The Enemies of Promise were invented by Mr Gove during his campaign to convince Britain’s hardworking families of the need to support his education reforms. They present a real threat to education in Britain, and Britain’s hardworking families should be very frightened of them and remember to vote for Mr Gove, said Mr Gove.

Mr Gove reported on 1st October that many “Enemies of Promise” were involved in activities across the East of England, although no one in the region reported seeing any members of “The Enemies of Promise” group.

Mr Gove confirmed that he was not surprised at this because, “The Enemies of Promise are an idea I am still working on”. He went on to say that, “It would be quite a while before “The Enemies of Promise” cliché became used as much as the “Hardworking Families” cliché.”

We later received an anonymous call from someone claiming to speak for The Enemies of Promise. They said, “We are responsible for all the problems in the Education System”.

When we reported this to The Department of Education a spokesman said, “We deny all knowledge of such a call, and categorically deny that we recently took delivery of “Enemy of Promise” fancy dress outfits. It is pure speculation that the voice of the caller resembled the voice of Mr Gove, The Secretary  of State for Education.” The spokesman went on to say, “The enemies of Promise are a group determined to undermine the wonderful policies of Mr Gove, and the hardworking families of this country should be very, very frightened of them.”

The Department of Education spokesman then told us that we should not hate our country so much, and should instead, concentrate on doing our job properly, reporting on how good a job the coalition government are doing, and making sure hardworking families understood this. He added that it would be unfortunate if we became members of The Enemies of Promise, and it would come as a shock to us when Mr Gove decided we were Enemies of Promise.

They added that “teachers cannot be exhausted after a day in school, and The Enemies of Promise are determined to bring terror to Britain’s Education system by cowardly acts, such as refusing to carry out lunch duty and writing things about Mr Gove”

It is well-known in Whitehall that refusing to carry out lunch duty is a stong indication of  Enemies of Promise membership.

When we accused Mr Gove of making up the whole Enemies of Promise stuff, he responded in a very angry voice. “Nine, nine.” he said, “Liar, liar, pants on fire”.  We could not understand why he referred to the number nine. We left.

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