What if Gove was one us?

I thought I’d offer this little titbit into the Education, sorry,Goveucation  debate.

I say that because we used to debate the ins and outs of Edcuaction. The future direction, new ideas, good practice and the sheer beauty of opening up young minds to the wonder of the world.

I know there are some Luddites out there who continue to talk about education, “the enemies of promise” I cal them, but the rest of us have moved on. We now focus on what matters, Goveucation. We debate Goveucation. A distortion. The ugly process of shaping young minds to the Guru’s view of the world. This says a lot about the man, that he has now become the debate.

But I digress.

I was listening to some music last night. One of the things I listened to was this, sung by Martyn Joseph, a fine artist. For those of you are already bored you can take a break and have a listen. Think of it as playtime.

I make no claims to originality. Someone has probably already done this. And I offer thanks to Eric Bazilian for writing such a fine, original song.

I was going to sing it for you, but having a northern accent I didn’t want to risk being bullied by those Tory MPs who like to take the piss out of us northerners and our silly accents. It doesn’t usually bother me. Normally I’d tell them to fuck off, but this being polite company I thought it best to tone it down.

So Eric’s lyrics changed to praise Goveucation, and a fine version sung by Martyn, the Welsh Troubadour

If Gove had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you faced  him in all his glory
What would you ask,  just one question, What’s it like to be Twat?

And yeah yeah Gove is great’ yeah yeah Gove is good

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if Gove was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a Teacher on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If Gove had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant had to believe
In things like targets,  academies, and  chains, and all the tories

And yeah yeah gove is great yeah yeah gove is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if Gove was one of us
Just a teacher like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way to school
He’s trying to make his way to school
Back to school all alone
Nobody observing in the corner
Except for  Ofsted maybe in Frome

And yeah yeah Gove is great yeah yeah Gove is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if gove was one of us
Just a teacher like one of us
Just a teacher on a bus
Trying to make his way to school
Just trying to make his way to school
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way to school
Nobody watching in the corner of the room
Except for Wilshaw maybe in Frome

Dedicated to the Mighty Gove, transformer of Education, Creator of Goveucation. For the benefit of all.

With Thanks to Eric Bazilian, Martyn Joseph and Frome. Apologies to all song writers and musicians, and anyone has done it before, and done it better. I salute you all.


You can wash your hands and walk away. It’s OK we’ll pick up the pieces. It’s Ok we’ll look after the young minds. It’s all OK Gove. We’ll sort it out. You just worry about the big stuff. We’ll sort out the small things, like do we do Literacy, or Numeracy, or do we give the 8 year old some breakfast, because it’s only 9-00am and there’s another 3 hours until they get a dinner. And they’ve had nothing to eat for 10 hours.

But don’t worry, you just make sure IDS cuts another £2 billion off the budget so George can cut the higher rate tax again. You just tell us what to do and we’ll do it. What’s more we’ll do it for free. You don’t have to worry about creating a £5 billion bonus pot, we’re not like that. We’re just dedicated to our job, the children and your philosophy. Gove is great. We’re not like your friends, the bankers. They think you’re a wanker, but not us. Gove is great.

All you have to worry about is your legacy. But don’t lose any sleep. Your legacy wont last long. Once you’re gone, so will your legacy. Gove is great. :-))) Yeah. But just a short term effect. Gove is great. Gove will go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Have a nice day. Believe.

All spelling misstakes, made up words, bad punctuation, is deliberate, just too annoy a certain person. He, he, he.


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