Holidays are Verbotten.

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Take that cheap break

Holidays are verbotten. For children. Which is great for parents.

“Sorry kids but you can’t come. You’ve got to go to school. It’s the law. If you miss a week you’ll never catch up. I know you’re smart, but you’re not that smart.”

Schools should have a sleep-in service. The kids can book to sleep-in at school for a week, leaving parents free to take a break. You get a holiday,and get away from the brats. The law on holidays only applies to pupils. That’s what education should be. Learning to cope, when your parent’s just up sticks and fuck off for a week.

But a few parents want to take the kids away for a holiday, and they can save a few bob by doing it in term time.

So why not teach the kids the art of throwing a “throwing a sickie”? That’s a lesson every worker needs to perfect. Create the story. Then turn it into the alternative fact. At which point it becomes true. It’s reality. OK it started life as a lie. But by the time it’s been through the alternative truth machine it’s a cast iron fact. You were sick.  That’s a lesson all kids should learn. It’ll save them a small fortune as parents.

Of course if you were a Brexit voter, a leaver, then you have principle on your side.

Having stood up to the establishment once, you can do it again. Using your “take back control” principles it’s quite simple for you. All you have to do now is tell the bureaucrats you are “taking back control”. This time it’s control of your children.

Take back control of your child from out of touch Westminster bureaucrats.
Take back control of your child from out of touch Westminster bureaucrats.

No longer are you going to allow some distant bureaucrat to make laws about what you can and can’t do with your children. If you want to take your children out of school for a holiday, then you are going to do it. No distant bureaucrat is going to stop you.  You are taking back control and making your own decisions.

Sadly if you voted Brexit on a simple racist principle, this option is not open to you.

Likewise if you voted remain. Remain voters were against “taking back control”. On principle remain voters cannot take back control.

All is not lost though. If you have a bright child, a bit of a classroom star, then another option presents itself. On the principle that your classroom star is way ahead of the rest of the pupils in the class, your child can afford a break. Intellectually that is. It’s your duty to take them on a term time holiday, for the sake of equality.

In terms of equality, you will be doing the right thing. No one can argue otherwise. With your child on a two-week break, the other numptys in the class will have the time to catch up. Teachers will have more time to spend with the strugglers, as they will be spending less time indulging your high-flying brat. And from a selfish point of view, your child will still probably be top of the class after you get back.

Your country, your future, your vote
Your country, your future, your vote

The final option, called the nuclear option, is to get your child excluded from school. The exclusion should ideally last for five days and should start on Monday and finish on Friday. That gives you a week for a decent term time break.

As with all nuclear options there are risks. A slight miscalculation and the head teacher may launch their own nuclear reprisal, a permanent exclusion. It might not be so easy to find the right school with a permanent exclusion on your CV.

The positive side is that, with a permanent exclusion, you may have time for a longer break.

 

 

 

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